The other day, our nephew, Daniel, who is studying Business and Finance in college, came over to talk to us about our finances, future goals, etc. He is working for the summer for Northwestern Mutual as a Financial Representative, and already starting in the real world (and doing a fantastic job, I might add).
After asking my husband a bunch of questions, Daniel turned to me and asked me when I wanted to retire. And my answer was, “Never.”
I didn’t know that was going to be my answer until I said it, but it was completely true. I don’t ever want to retire, simply because I love what I do.
I didn’t plan to have a career I loved this much, oddly enough. I actually fought doing the very thing I’m doing — writing — even though it was the thing I loved the most, because I thought it would be too hard. I’ve always used writing as a creative outlet, but for some reason, I assumed that even though it was the thing I enjoyed more than anything, it actually wasn’t the thing I was supposed to be doing — as if it was somehow noble of me to put aside my God-given talents to do something else, or He didn’t put those desires in me for a reason.
I remember ‘writing’ my first book when I was 5. It was on yellow paper, which my mother stapled together when I was finished. I don’t recall much of the story, but I remember it started, “My life began when I was 5…” and I drew pictures of grocery shelves.
I did well in English in high school, but when it came time to pick what I wanted to study, I started with Social Work. I tried a few other careers, and legitimately liked most of them, and learned from all of them. It wasn’t until 2005, when a friend offered me a one-time writing assignment — interviewing new American Idol winner, Carrie Underwood — based on the fact that I wrote, as she put it, “eloquent emails.” And I remember the feeling walking out of that interview, thinking, “I could do this. I could really, really do this.”
Still, it took me seven more years until I was ready to commit to it as my ‘real job.’ And let me tell you, it’s a beautiful thing to get up every day and get to do what you love. Sure, there are parts of my job I dislike — I’m never going to say, “I’m so glad I get to transcribe this 20-minute interview,” or “I’m so glad I get to go out at 9:00 at night to see this person perform,” but overall, I’m more happy with my job than I ever thought I could possibly be. And, bonus points that I get to write from wherever, and travel wherever I want, and meet extraordinary people (I’m looking at you, Kevin Bacon and Cyndi Lauper).
If I could go back to my younger self, here’s what I would tell her, so I could find and fulfill my true calling earlier:
Do what you love.
No seriously. Do that. Because unless you do what you love — the thing you love more than anything else — everything else will just be a job. A job that gives you limited time off, and a job that will take all of your time. But if you do what you love, every day will be a joy, and the mundane things will not seem so bad, because most of your days are really, really good.
Don’t listen to others.
I mean it. Don’t let anyone else — whether it be a close friend or a parent or your favorite high school teacher or your next-door neighbor — tell you what you should be doing. They can offer their opinion, but there is not anyone else who has your gifts, your abilities, your talents that are inside of you. And there isn’t anyone else who will have to get up every day and do your job. Do what you want to do. Don’t worry about what your friends are doing, and what other people think. Do the thing you love, not the thing other people think you would be good at doing.
I’m so incredibly and eternally grateful that my parents let me be who I wanted to be. They encouraged me in everything, but never forced anything on me. Of the many, many gifts they gave me, that’s one of their greatest. I remember my Dad talking to me about doing music, but I didn’t feel like I would enjoy it as much if it became a job. I remember my Mom talking to me about nursing, which I considered later in life as well, but, in retrospect, writing was pulling me in all along. How different my life would have been if they had pressured me into anything. Instead, they trusted that I would find my own path — and I did.
Trust your instincts.
I cannot say this enough: Trust that that thing that you love is actually the thing you are supposed to be doing. Do not assume that it is right or noble or altruistic to not do the thing you want to do. Just do it! God put that gift and desire in you for a reason. And if you love it, you will find a way to make a living — and a decent living — from it. I would rather work so hard at doing what I love, than be mediocre at something I don’t. If you have a desire to do it, then you are meant to do that thing — and not what anyone else thinks you should be doing.
So what if you’re already 20, maybe 30 years — or more — into a job, and it isn’t what you love?
It’s not too late. You’re not too old.
There is still time — there is always time — to pursue what you love. As for me, I’m grateful that I found the courage to do the thing I love most, even if it took me a few extra years. So maybe if you’re 20, 30, 40 years into a career, and in retrospect wish you had done something else, maybe there’s another way you can still fulfill your life’s dream. Maybe you don’t want to go to school to be a teacher anymore, but you could still volunteer in a classroom, or tutor after-school.
Maybe you’re 50 and it’s too late for medical school, but you could still become an RN or an LPN.
Maybe there’s a way to still do whatever it is you always wanted to do.
Whatever it is, if the dream is still in you, it’s still waiting to be fulfilled.
Dan Miller, author of the best-seller, 48 Days to the Work You Love, offers this advice: “Better questions to ask regarding a career or job choice would be: What was I born to do? What would be my greatest contribution to others? What do I really love to do (and when I’m doing it, time just flies by)? What are the recurring themes that I find myself drawn to? How do I want to be remembered?”
He also says: “We cannot talk ourselves into doing something we do not inherently enjoy, no matter how spiritual that something may appear to those around us.” (Purchase the amazing book here).
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” Prov. 16:3
“For I am sure of this very thing, that the one who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil. 1:6
“You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis
While I don’t think my time trying other careers was a waste, because I made lifelong friends and learned valuable lessons, if I could go back, I would start by pursuing the thing I love more than anything much, much earlier.
So what do you really want to do? Find and fulfill your true calling! Go do it!
